11 truths uncovered on a Caribbean cruise

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Tortola, British Virgin Islands, complete with cruise ship. (Photo by Tom Adkinson)

By Tom Adkinson

Every cruise is a voyage of discovery, and at least some of those discoveries are about human behavior. Here are 11 accumulated from a Caribbean cruise.

  1. After achieving a certain age or a certain weight, men shouldn’t wear tank tops.
  2. No man should wear a tank top to dinner in a restaurant.
  3. I’m sure the request to wear a collared shirt to the reservations-only French restaurant didn’t mean a bowling shirt.
  4. Many people should reevaluate their choice of swimwear.
  5. Use sunscreen generously. (See item #4.)
  6. Drinking a Heineken through a straw doesn’t “make you a lady,” as one woman declared between sips.
  7. Taking the last dozen cookies off a dessert display when people are in line behind you proves that your mother failed.
  8. When you know that every elevator on the ship is full, you can walk down one flight of stairs.
  9. A cocktail made with top-quality Kentucky bourbon or Tennessee whiskey that is dominated by a huge slice of pineapple is a waste of Kentucky bourbon or Tennessee whiskey.
  10. Cruise ship housekeepers are saints and deserve more than perfunctory conversation – every day.
  11. There is no mandate that you have dessert at every lunch and every dinner, but that’s a widely held belief.

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